life

Today I found out that a friend of mine is getting married in two weeks. I was surprised coz I knew that she and her boyfriend had plans of getting married this year, but that it wasn't likely that it would push through. It turns out that she's pregnant! Four months pregnant. And she wouldn't have known if her doctor hadn't told her. Thank God for doctors!

A couple of weeks back a friend was problematic coz she was pregnant. The guy that got her pregnant was a coward who couldn't handle the responsibility. Plus he broke up with her and ran back to his ex. And if her parents found out about her pregnancy, they would disown her and kick her out. She was really worried when she talked to me. Because of all the stress she was under, she had been bleeding for a couple of days. Her doctor told her that it was likely that she would miscarry.

I looked at her situation and told her that it was obvious that she couldn't keep the baby. Sticking to the pregnancy would bring her heartbreak and problems. Imagine having to raise a child without support from your family or the father and without any money. What would happen to her? I know it sounds selfish, but truthfully, if I was in her situation I'd opt for an abortion.

But because she had been bleeding for a while she miscarried. She was in pain for a whole day and couldn't take pain killers (coz it might affect the fetus.) Her doctor gave her a prescription but while waiting she just had this rush of blood surge out of her. After that the doctor said to go ahead and take pain killers. Later that night she had to pee and out came a clump. Just like that she lost the baby.

Now she seems okay, smiling and talkative but she's lost a lot of weight. And I wonder how affected she is by the whole experience.

After graduation I was trying to keep in touch with friends. But there was this one girl that didn't have the time to meet with me. I would wonder why then just let her be, coz why push her if she can't. Turns out that she was pregnant and didn't want to tell me about it. I have yet to meet her daughter but now she is so proud of her baby girl. Sad thing is she can't stand the father now. And is often upset with his mother for various reasons.

During college I had a friend that got pregnant. The guy that got her pregnant turned out to be gay and isn't much of a father figure. Good thing she had the support of her family. She too is a proud mom, always sharing stories of how smart her son is.

Of course I have friends that got married when they found out they were pregnant. But now they're separated, usually the guys turn out to be absentee fathers. Or else the girls can't stand the family of the guy.

Another friend is seven months pregnant. I saw her recently and she looked so radiant and happy to be pregnant. I would look at her and all I could think was that this is what a person who is content looks like. When she and her husband announced that they were pregnant, we were all so happy for them. I got teary eyed and even now remembering I still get teary eyed. For them it was right that she was pregnant coz they finally had a reason to get married. And they have a good relationship, they understand each other.

I on the other hand can't imagine having a kid. As I mentioned earlier, if I was faced with an unhappy pregnancy that would result in problems, I'd consider having an abortion. Fending for myself is hard enough. Having to worry about a kid and how I would raise it is too big a responsiblity. Most of the time I don't think I could ever have a kid. I think I'd put too much pressure on myself, that my kid would have to be successful in every way.

I've been telling my friends that life is mundane. But this is because we would be talking about love and romance. In that regard we should think that life is simple coz relationships aren't what the media makes it out to be! (Pavlov's Love!) But I take a look at these friends that have been/are pregnant, look at their stories, and life isn't mundane. In one way or another it is a telenobela...