Pavlov's Love

Ever heard of Pavlov? He's a scientist that did experiments with dogs concerning conditioning. He'd put food in front of a dog and ring a bell, and the dog seeing the food would salivate. Eventually when he'd ring the bell the dog would automatically start drooling. I've actually put this to the test. Coz whenever our dogs at home would hear the clang of metal (i.e. pots on the stove) they would start barking and whining for food.

I was talking to a friend the other night and the topic was unrequited love. I don't know why but I suddenly thought of Pavlov and love. So why Pavlov's Love? Because I think that we humans are conditioned to think that if we don't have a great romance, with all the drama and flowers, we are failures in the love department.

What conditions us are the romantic comedies or movies with love as its central theme and romance novels that we read or watch. A year ago my thinking about love was connected to romance novels. That girls who read those novels by Johanna Lindsey or Judith McNaught, are waiting for their knight in shining armor to whisk them off their feet. Now I've raised the bar and included movies. Films like My Best Friends Wedding or 50 1st Dates, which are 2 of my favorites by the way.

I remember when I was in high school or was maybe it was 6th grade, my mom found me reading one of my sister's Harlequin books. She got mad, took the book from and forbade me to ever read love stories. To me it seemed coz those stories had sex scenes in it. But now, with Pavlov's Love in mind, I think it's coz she didn't want me to view love and relationships in the way those books portrayed it. Why couldn't she just tell me that was the reason?! Shouted I don't want you to get a warped view of love?! (But then again I'm totally assuming why she forbade me to read those books! The truth is I don't really know!)

I find it kind of funny that I view relationships this way, coz I'm what, all of 24. And I've been in one long term relationship and less than a handful short term ones. I don't think I can be called a cynic coz I'm looking forward to the day I find myself falling again. I guess I could be called jaded, in a way, not totally.

Once again I found myself talking to my friends of our lack of a love life. We came to another conclusion! Another realization! This time it concerns the kind of guys that we end up liking. A friend from La Salle ends up liking guys that aren't cultured and can't speak good English. Another is attracted to college kids coz when he went to school he was surrounded by older people, so he didn't experience college with those his age. And yet another friend is attracted to those with stability coz throughout college he was surrounded by party people. And I since I was surrounded by those who were responsible students, I'm attracted to party people.

We can analyze all we want. But the fact is we're still waiting. I guess this is better than just whining about NOT having someone. Or is it?!