a decision

so i've decided that it's better to set a low expectation of people, to accept what they can give. to try not to be disappointed when i don't get what i expected. to give what i can. to be a friend. to be a good person. to relax.

but the case will be different with the people that are really important. the people that i love. but i think that's a good thing. the people you care for a lot are special, they should be treated differently. plus you should be able to tell them up front what you feel and how they affect you.

so it's all good :) just wish realizing things doesn't have to be so hard and complicated!!!

selfishness

onto something less negative, but nonetheless negative. it's about people. through numerous discussions with a friend, selfishness came up. how some people can be selfish. not in terms of money or materialism. but in giving up time to spend with others. well like how friends don't show up or do things when invited or asked. of course when those things happen, i feel bad. is it selfish for me to feel bad and offended that they don't show up? and is it selfish for them not to show up because they have other things going on in their lives?

coz before if it would happen i'd just ignore it and think that it's not worth stressing over. that if they have other things happening then so be it. and if next time they're the ones doing the inviting then i'd go if im free, if i'm not then next time. but it seems to always happen, and i'm kinda sick of it. but if i drop the people who are like that (and it seems that everyone is like that at one point or another) then i'd really not have friends at all! when is it acceptable for them not to show up or do something?

in a smaller scale it's with texting...how some would inquire how you are and series of answers and questions that occur. then i'd ask a question and poof the person disappears! won't hear from them! is it alright to feel offended then?

is it even fair to think this way? am i demanding too much from people?

i guess what comes into play is not having very high expectations and just accepting what they give. it seems as i am turning older i want to feel that i'm important to my friends aka the important people in my life. it's just how do you consolidate what you want with what people give???!!!